Adam...

Adam...
My Beloved Son

Saturday, March 20, 2010


It's been one month today since you left us, I awoke at 4:49 a.m. and the remembrance of it being around that time that we got home from the hospital...and people started to filter in our home with love and support...the cloudiness and haze since that time has slowly lifted off of us...and reality is here...and we are coping and dealing as best we can...the emotions are like wicked rides on roller coasters...up and down and sudden and turbulent....what we're learning how to roll with them versus against them...and with every saddening thought, I am trying to find a positive one....although it's extremely difficult...thinking of roller coasters....Adam LOVED them...so my happier thought of that is how he and his Dad loved to go to amusement parks to ride the best and most scariest of them all....both he and his Dad were fearless, at least Ted was in that area....and Adam, You simply lived, breathed and embraced fearlessness...looking back, even as a small child, nothing seemed to "scare" you....ever....a fan of horror...fending off bats with your 49er's helmet and a wiffle bat as I screamed....you'd pick up worms and snakes...we'd smile constantly at your true boyhood charms....or the times you carelessly roll down the river in a patched up tube....in storms mostly because you thought the sky looked inspiring...perhaps those inspirations added to your music...the artist you were....self taught guitarist....soft and gentle voice, again...that voice that was easy to listen to...we talked about your voice last night....more friends came to spend time with us...I know how this helps me...and I can see how it's helping them, too....because we are a part of you...and they are a part of you...and together....the mesh is all good....Hinkie said he was waiting for a dream about you....it came a few days ago he told me....he heard your voice in the dream, and it was the voice of calm and reason...he said it was so nice...and gave comfort...and he felt Peace upon waking...we still struggle daily in the why's but the sun is shining....the birds sing...my wonderful brain (I am thankful for an excellent memory) is full of thoughts of you...trying to find comfort in a situation that could the bleakest in life...but choosing to embrace you, your memory and continue to LOVE you 'til we meet again....

1 comment:

  1. Thinking of you and your family on this day.

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