My Beloved Son

Monday, December 26, 2011

“The life i touch for good or ill will touch another life, and in turn another, until who knows where the trembling stops or in what far place my touch will be felt.”
― Frederick Buechner

Saturday, December 24, 2011

'Tis Christmas in Heaven
What a beautiful sight!
It's my second one here;
Everything is all right.

The place is adorned
With the brilliance of stars,
Wisemen have come
From Venus and Mars.

I've met all our dear ones
Who preceded us here;
The reunion was lovely,
An event full of cheer.

And tonight we'll all gather,
In reverence we'll kneel,
For the Babe in the cradle
Up in Heaven is Real.

I think of my family
that I left behind
And I pray that your Christmas
Is as blessed as mine

Please shed no more tears,
For my soul is at rest,
Just love one another;
Live life to its best.

Yes, It's Christmas In Heaven,
So I've heard them say,
Yet, Christmas In Heaven
Happens every day.

We love you Adam. and miss you so much

Thursday, December 22, 2011

He is Gone...

You can shed a tear that he is gone
or you can smile because he has lived

You can close your eyes and pray he'll come back
or you can open your eyes and see all he's left.

Your heart can be empty because you can't see him
or you can be full of the love you shared

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live for yesterday
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.

You can remember...only that he's gone
or you can cherish his memory and let it live on.

You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back
or you can do what he'd want: smile, open your eyes love and go on.

....this is exactly how I feel, I know I'll never have those wishes---or chances----that he lives on only in dreams, memories...and the tales we tell, but I will not ever succumb to losing my entire self, because it was "me" that made him "him" and he would never want me to live on in eternal sadness....xoxoxoxo I love Adam---always and forver
When a friend is feeling sorrow
That you wish that you could share,
And no words of any language
Can remove the grief they bear,
When the unexpected shadows
Fall across the path they trod,
There is no human remedy,
When a brave heart's torn asunder,
And it's courage seems too small
There is no solace found in pain
That overtakes us all.
When hot tears keep on falling
'Til they drench the very sod,
To find someone to dry them,
There's a reason for each heartache,
Though we cannot see it now,
And we grow with every sorrow,
That Heaven will allow.
Though we always seek the sunlight,
Earth is still "a vale of tears"
And only God can help us bear
The burden of the years.
We've simply got to trust Him,
And we can't afford to doubt,
Because He has created life,
He knows what it's about.
Because His dear feet also walked
These narrow paths we trod,
To heal our broken spirits.

Friday, December 16, 2011

‎'God hath not promised skies always blue, flower-strewn pathways all our lives through; God hath not promised sun without rain, joy without sorrow, peace without pain. But God hath promised strength for the day, rest for the labor, light for the way, grace for the trials, help from above, unfailing sympathy, undying love...And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes.' ~ Revelations 21:4 —

Thursday, December 8, 2011

I am a success today because I had a friend who believed in me and I didn't have the heart to let her down...I've become a lover of quotes, I guess it's the beautiful inspiration of those words that whisper Hope into my ear and then my heart---my heart is inspired and has always been inspired by the love I've received since I was a little girl, having befriended the other part of my dear didn't seem to exist before her...and still...our love remains...and she always saw something in me that made me believe in "I" truly feel like today's many people tend to look at me...and still say "I don't know what I'd do if I lost a child"..."Or your life will never be the same"...yes, said over and over by many---not Lisa, she is my Spirit---uplifter---no matter what I do---even the smallest steps taken, she applauds me...before she had me---age five Lisa had a make believe friend....a big pretend Indian who wouldn't talk to her---I've lived and laughed at her recall over the years of how grateful she was to shake him and begin a friendship with me...and all it takes is the Belief that someone so loyal and true...believes in you...and that----can make all the difference....

Monday, December 5, 2011

"And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.” –---I Hope and wish constantly---that "me" being serving the best purpose...redefining myself since I lost Adam makes me seek purpose in everything, I laughed last night when one of Jordan's friends smiled and said "my God Lori, is there anything you can't do?"...he was teasing me about the homemade wreaths and boughs of pine I entwined...then embellished...yes, I've kept myself busy....perhaps, in my own way---this busy hobby of learning new things has helped me in more ways than I could put into words...our longs walks...Ted and I reflect, we talk---we share----as only two loving parents who have endured loss can---yet somehow on those walks we are still able to see beauty, and as we walk---we collect, I guess we're sort of like small children in our escapades---collecting pine cones and twigs, the stuff we decorate those wreaths with...then we give back---we often talk about how lucky we are to have the people we have in our lives...some, came literally out of nowhere...we think of life now---what's left, and what is ahead of us---after a glass of wine and sore fingers from my wreath making, I visited a friend...a gentle knock on the make her day with my little creation...I boldly said "I'm tired of being sad all the time"..."so I'm not going to anymore, and those who want to be sad around me....well, I'll distance myself"...of course I'm sad, I still cry every single day for Adam...oftentimes I'll keep my sobs silent, I'll wait till Jordan's off to work, or I'll sit on the floor of Adam's room....remembering, but then something clicks, and I am reminded of ALL Adam lived for, like Abraham Lincoln's magnificent's not about the's about the life lived...and the rest of my life...I want to rebuild with the most purpose I's hard work, but I think I can do this....