Each of us are dealing with Adam's loss in a different way...I am reaching out, blogging, talking with the experts...Ted is back at work but feels "empty"...he says "nothing means anything these days" and we understand how he feels...Jordan pretends he's just fine...and silently struggles with his own loss...can he be Jordan without Adam? Where one began the other ended...throughout life, they had been inseparable...Adam followed Jordan everywhere...he copied Jordan's every action and wanted to befriend each of Jordan's friends...and as he grew and came into his own, their worlds merged...effortlessly and wonderfully...as difficult as raising two toddlers had been, when when hit 12 and up... life became a whole lot easier with the peacefulness they attained...they enjoyed sports, poker...gangs of kids would fill my home...they raved over the food we cooked...they enjoyed themselves...and felt "life was good" all throughout high school...and Adam looked up to Jordan still...and Jordan held his own admiration to Adam...and Adam followed Jordan to KU and then he followed Jordan back home from KU...and now he's in Heaven...identity changes for us all...so much to adjust to...but we have to...what choice do we have...