somedays the words just flow....this morning they are slow....I'm still so sad buddy....I just don't know what to do....me, of all people, me the person who always "fixes" things....can't find a way....
Vook photographed all our text messages.....unbelievably, I still had all of our exchanges since May, when Dad bought me that I-Phone....and it felt good to see how many times we'd text each other "luv you" and xoxoxoxo. I know you knew I thought about you every moment...the nights you'd be driving home in bad weather...the times I'd wonder about how you were doing in class....the times you'd be away with friends....never left my mind....but I always thought you'd be alright....you had always been a guy who landed on his feet....oh sweetie, I miss you....Earl's friend Patrick painted a portrait of you...it's amazing....and Earl gave it to us last night....you'd go nuts over it....and he used the coolest, most happiest pic on your facebook to go by and it is remarkable. So many people told me and continue to tell me how amazing you had been, and I knew this....but it warms my heart each story I hear...and I am trying to remember everything....I know I cannot have you...that God has you in His care...but perhaps he has things for me to do here...until I can join you there....again....I love you, I hope you feel my presence when I visit you....the warmth of my feet above you, the softness of my voice as I talk with you, the trinkle of tears that fall onto the soil above you....I hope you feel Peace....
....it's now a little later....went to visit you again....sat on Pop's tombstone.....Hazel and me...she eats the dried old grass and chases after the robins that are now appearing with the signs of spring....I shed endless tears on the dirt over your grave....today I brought you a YooHoo and took a sip first...I remember how much you loved them...I remember everything about you...I always did...I listened to every story....every tale...your voice was an easy one to listen to...with enthusiasm you'd talk about everyone you knew...and those tales made me smile...that smile that allowed you to be forgiven at any moment...your teachers and coaches...all who keep a close watch on us...tell us you were that kid that started out as a bugger and in a short time, people would simply melt and gravitate...what was it Adam, that made you the man you had been? SO many great qualities and a life cut far too short...