Good morning Adam...I'm trying to work through this stuff a little better each day, I know it's important for me to do this, for me and for you...I know you would never want me feeling this way, I know this was not meant to hurt me or anyone else, as Father Ward said over and over again, this was a tragic accident...someday I will understand the "why's"...the support of people has been so helpful....people are so kind...I will never lose sight of that...be sure to be watchful over all those kind hearts who are helping us here on earth...I've been praying alot and find support from our Hospice Chaplain as well as your old pre-school teacher, Miss Carol! Believe it or not, she is now a grief councelor and I was able to talk with her...part of me thinks I may have helped her a little too....It was awkward for her to come up with some sort of reason for comfort...your death was so sudden, so unprepared...so many question marks? Young man, tragic demise...secrets revealed....too much....too soon....too sad...but talking about how much we loved you...and how we embraced your uniqueness somehow helped...the worst scenerio would be for me to shrivel up inside...to holdback my smiles and that ability to cheer people....that would made you sad...because that's what you loved best...you loved that I loved your friends...you loved how I loved your music...meeting people...sharing in your stories...I met so many nice people through you....in many ways you'd been a vital force into making me the Lori LaRizzio I became...me, the band geek....shade of vanilla with a dorky awkwardness....had wildly eccentric son...brought out some of the hidden inner cool chick! God I miss you, but each day is getting a tiny bit easier...perhaps you're easing that for me...thank you for being my son...I know you loved that role as much as I loved being your Mom....