I finally slept well last night...hopefully more restlful nights will follow...I am going to try to get into a routine again...because that's a good thing...me constantly looking at photos or reading your Facebook isn't helping...and I see that...thankfully I know what is helpful vs. hurtful...it's really strange being on the other end...SO many times I was the comforting soul...being a Hospice nurse...or even a nurse in general, you learn these things...and processes...but when it affects you in the way it affected me and my family, all the knowledge you have isn't the same as the personal way you are now forced to adapt to. And, I see there is no fault in looking for support...I enjoy talking with the grief therapist...it validates what I feel is okay...I am meeting with my priest later today, I just need more Spiritual support...I think (sadly) on those who are afraid to seek this aide...I hope through my blog that people see that there are resources out there...with good and kind and caring people who really want to help. And I am learning that sometimes...there are no real answers...perhaps never...and that although the first part of my life, the life with Adam in it is completed, there is another life I must learn to adapt into...the life without him...as sad as it sounds, I read that in one of the grief booklets, and it made some sense...