Today's Nana's birthday...ahhh...nothing means as much anymore...I am sure you see that as you look upon us from your Heavenly view...some things mean more though...the recent memories we hold onto somehow are magnified....and the other stuff all seems so insignificant...like birthdays...work....chores...yet remembering your last smiles...last conversations....laughter....all are in our minds and thoughts...you had this gift of life...of friendship....we're all still reeling in the aftermath of losing our BEST friend....I could pretend that I'm okay...but I'm not....Dad and I could perform like things are fine...but they're not...no one fully understands this...to see grown men continually wipe their eyes as we chat about you...from the start of your passing...I knew this didn't only affect us, Me, Dad and Jordan...your network of life was so expansive...you had this special and unique gift of reaching out and making every person feel special in their own way...with me and Dad...it was through food....with Jordan it was movies and sports....with Earl...love of music....Will, music and fellowship....Hinkie....food and conversation....Josh, Hontz and Dunbar....the growing up yrs., the Hill rats...the memories of growing up together and I could go on and on....no one accepts this...well, I guess we have to but we're not taking this easy....spending time with your friends has been the most therapeutic to me personally...the parents and older friends are all great....but all of those "hold onto the memories" sentiments hasn't been helping...I like hearing the stuff I remember best...and that's the stuff from your pals....and how they all agree that this sucks....and that it's not fair....that's what I need....there was nothing you couldn't tell me...and your friends did that to me, too.....You'd laugh at some of the stuff Hontz would reveal...it was always GOOD! And we always LAUGHED....I need you to know that nothing you ever did made me ever love you less...and in the end, I wish I could have saved you...from the sadness you may have felt or the thing you couldn't tell me...please know I pray and talk with you every day...every moment....in the rain I cried today...while visiting your grave...we love you Adam, forever in my heart....