Your friends came by again last night...we sat around telling the "Adam stories" and it sort of made me smile...a rarity...but it felt good to smile...and your tales were so humerous...somehow...in someway...you'd always be involved in ANY antic that occurred...and the the way Dunbar and Hontz narrate each tale just adds to the epic they've made it into...someone told us recently that many people will stop talking about their loved one who passed...I cannot even imagine that...I want to hear your name...the stories...I want to bump into people who tell me something special...perhaps a silly moment that they shared with you...I don't want people to avoid me...I want to smile again...and those things make me smile...I wish I could line up all the people who haven't seen us since your passing...so we could all get over the ackwardness...the sorrow will always be there...and if one more person tells me I will never forget this...then that will make the total of 1,000...I know I won't forget this...I know this is the worst thing ever...I know I experienced a mom's worst nightmare...I know "this will change my life forever" and that things will never be the same...my wish is that people will stop telling me those things....I know they don't mean it...and that there really isn't any words of reason...or true comfort....but you're not in a better place (at least to me)...although I know you're in Heaven...what mom would want her young son there already...the place you belong is here, with us...but that's not possible so I'll accept my fate...and try and be as close to the person that I was...the mom that you loved...
p.s. somtimes when there are no words...hugs are the BEST thing....