Thursday morning....7:42 a.m. my blog times aren't in sync with the times I write...Dad and I chatted yesterday afternoon while making our daily visit to your grave Adam...I see someone added a little ring of flowers...the wind was up so we secured it. There's no stone there yet, just a small marker that bears your name and date of birth and date of death...nothing more...it pains me to think....that someone walking by there...might not truly know the "you" that you were...even when the stone we ordered arrives...only so much can be put upon it's surface...the only ones who know your story are those who knew you...and all we have, as your parents are memories...yes, memories...but even as your Dad put it yesterday..."cherish the memories" is something you tell someone when their elderly parent dies....because through their lifetime...they had MANY memories...the brutal truth for us is that we only have "so" many memories...and some of them consist of the trying "teenage" years...you see, this was the time Adam, that things were going look up...the man you were turning into was supposed to connect in love...and hopefully marry...and raise that family...and new memories would collect for the LaRizzio family...some of my memories now...I try and forget...the occurrences of utter sadness that I had to endure the night you died...and now...as your Dad reminded me with a soft and solemn voice....that I will eventually "run" out of things to put into this blog. Keeping this Blog alive allows me to keep a small "piece" of you alive with it...and it's heart wrenching...to agree with him, in the fact that it too will come to an end...memories...aahhh...people reading this have chances...to see how short life can be...how something can occur so quickly that you loose someone you loved so much in an instant...and the regrets even a "good" family must face and live with...how each argument or debate you'd had somehow now seems utterly regrettable...the woefulness of not saying more about how special that person was...I know...I did show you love...and that you felt loved....but I had a laundry list of things I would have told you...I wrote a letter to you the night before last...and placed in beneath my bedding...someone told me to write my thoughts, as if it was a note to you that you could read...and you'd visit me in my dreams...that man was wise...and the letter remains where I placed it...you're a welcome guest in my mind and dreams any day Adam....