Everyone warned me how difficult the Holidays would be...and yesterday proved they were right...but somehow...someway...we made it through and today is a new day...last night, I was in the bathroom closet and happened to see the crocodile emblem on your preppy Zod Lacoste jacket...I remember you wearing it and your dad and I saying it looked so much like something C.P. would wear...and the funny thing was that he was supposed to drop by and see us last night, too....well, I took it out of the closet and downstairs to give it to him, as I knew he'd cherish the thought and the memory...and when he came in through my door...there he was wearing a Zod Lacoste polo...same color...same style...and he was touched to have that jacket...and wore it home...with tears. I can't even fathom how I am supposed to be doing, or feeling...but I guess I am doing the best that I can...Dad had off this morning so we took a long drive...had some breakfast, and being surrounded by strangers in a different town, we looked just like "other" regular people I suppose. And Dad says the hollowness is leaving my eyes...but I still see some hollow in his eyes yet...will our eyes ever be able to "dance and sparkle" like they used to...and are our eyes really THAT reflective of our inner feelings...Ted thinks it's more on facial expressions...the loss of the smiles we used to have...and then..... we ordered your tombstone...and although it was one of the three hardest things I have been through yet...it was done and selected with LOVE...and as unique as YOU were...it is also.
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