Embrace change even if you want to run from it...I felt like running...ever since you passed...I want to flee from things...although less often now...and I do see that time has made things like that sort of dissipate...s-l-o-w-l-y....but there are still those days where I wish I could simply run away or perhaps be somewhere that no one knew me...or knew the sadness of my story...I guess I'm fearful of those moments....of sudden tears...or the thought of when that first person will ask me..."how many kids do you have"...or the thought of their face when I tell someone I recently lost you...
I used to hear older people tell me..."this is hard work, getting old"...and I'd laugh...now I want to scream..."this is hard work...dealing with the loss of my son"...I'd give all I had to discover the Peace I need to feel...and there's no time frame for that discovery...just lots of prayers filled with Hope that each day will lighten this weight off my chest...the tears continue...I just loved you that much...