the garden...

....oh how to regrow a relationship...slowly and carefully...to start I suppose. It's difficult recreating something that wasn't always there...my sister and I are trying to do just that...and I love her. It's not that we ever disliked each other, no...that's not it at all...I guess it's the years of age that separate us and lots of time and space...and distance over the years that allowed us to grow up...and apart. I know my core family was never really close...and sadly, we lost a brother 3yrs. back...and are parents have never been outgoing...My sister and I look back, and we wonder what happened...where did time go...what could we have done? But really there isn't anything we can do now to correct the neglected past...only the choices we make now affect our tomorrows.
Our family, like others...needed work...like a garden of flowers, ours needed tending...it needed more conversation...more nourishment...more attention...but we see, thankfully, that it isn't too late, to plant our garden and watch it bloom...I told my sister that through all of this I was so grateful for my garden of friendships...they have been helping me grow in many ways during this time of sorrow...when life seemed it's most dismal...it was they who tended to me...and it is they who are helping me bloom once again...and it is her now who is also tending to me, in my garden...and I love her for it...
p.s. Adam planted me a garden once...it was full of tall sunflowers...they took off in growth like no others I had ever seen before...and I smile when I think of the year of sunflowers...the year of Adam's garden...and his garden of friendships was the largest I'd witnessed still...