hugs....

Dearest Adam...
Yesterday morning was your first Mass...8 a.m. and there were about twenty five people present in McGinley Hall...more than a usual week-day Mass...Lisa was there waiting for me when I walked in...there to hold my hand through the service...there to hug me afterwards...I reflect on those hugs...and the many hugs I received over the past 13 weeks...endless hugs...all warm and sincere...to me, hugs are like medicine...there still are no words to "right" the situation...and sadness will loom in the shadows your passing has created...but hugs...how therapeutic...I probably hugged and kissed you and Jordan more than I can even truthfully admit...the beautiful little sons I had...I would often look at you both with complete and utter love and fascination and hold you both till you'd grow weary of all my affection and squirm away...your hugs had been notorious...the envy of all my friends, some would even rival for your hugs...warm and loving...your big arms would envelope us and hold us with that same sincerity that I felt when I hugged you, as a child...and that soft and gentle smile...I knew you loved to hug people...such an easy way to self express...medicine...your hugs were just that...and you'd hug everybody...you were known for those hugs...The Blue Nana isn't a hugger...she often laughs about it...Jordan is sort of like that, too...and it's okay...we are all different and the love we possess is all very similar, although we release it differently...last night Jordan hugged me "goodnight" and I swear he put more into that hug than he ever did in his life...and I felt his love...I felt his love