Moms...we are so Blessed to be mothers...the greatest thing in my life was the gift of motherhood...yes, like I said before...I'd dream of being a mom...and my dreams came true in 1985 and then again in 1987...with Mother's day tomorrow...I've been thinking and reflecting upon how I should feel right now...this was always a special time for us...any other year, Ted would cook a delicious meal and a fabulous dessert that we all could enjoy...and Adam and Jordan would go to Bath and Body Works weeks ahead to buy me the most special scented bath baskets...they knew how much I enjoyed that. And Adam would sniff each of the many scents until he decided he thought I would like it! Jordan was easy...he'd go along with whatever Adam decided...A mom who lost a daughter keeps an eye on me...she calls on occasion...she'll also send me a note...her kindness is amazing...her daughter would be close to my age now...she lost her at nineteen...terrible and tragic car accident. Her life moved ahead although sadness still looms around her...shadows from the past still haunt her eyes...and her smile almost seems forced...I know that feeling...of forced smiles and pretended laughter. It's difficult to portray "normalcy" when things aren't normal anymore...this kind and gentle woman told me she doesn't celebrate "Mother's day" anymore..since her daughter's passing...it's too difficult and she feels God would forgive her....as being in church is just too painful on that day...and I understand her pain...but believe it or not...my view is sort of different. I LOVED being Adam's mom...and Jordan's mom...and Teddy's wife...the mother of his children. I need to remember that...I need to remember them. Although Adam is not with me now...he was a vital part of my life since I was a very young mother...he and I and Jordan...we formed a bond...a special one that a mother and her sons forge...and it was strong and good...and not remembering God's gift to me would be sad...I want to have strength to acknowledge this day...to wish those moms around me a Blessing...to let my own mom and Ted's mom know how special they are and the positive influences they played in my life...I want to recognize my role in the formation of the two sons I had...Adam's gone...forever and I miss him beyond belief...but pretending Mother's Day didn't exist would be like pretending I never had him...and I did...I loved him...I love Jordan and when tomorrow comes...I'll still be a mom...and as Adam peers down from Heaven...I don't want him to see me suffer here on earth...I want him to always know what a privilege it had been to have been his mom....