we're not alone....

old friends...new friends...we feel the ongoing flow of perpetual love and support...I wonder if Adam is the reason for unbelievable support permeating through our lives? Somehow, someone finds us...each moment that we need strength...the hand of another finds ours and intertwines theirs with love and compassion...a glass of wine shared last night...a tender embrace...tears of old friends as we gaze deeply at one another...the memories...the sadness...the awkwardness dissipates...as it always does within moments of realizing it's just us...although our situation and sadness seem unmatched...we need to feel normal once again...we need to feel other's encouragement...we need to continue to talk about Adam...and in the ways we have been...the Adam stories, people smile and reflect on the way he lived his life...someone mentioned to me recently...that they "hope" I don't turn negative and bitter...apparently, this person hasn't experienced "me" in many, many years...even old friends who hold me today look at me and say "you've been the happiest person I ever knew"...and I do think they had been right...I was simply "that happy"...and for that doubtful soul...who must have forgotten "me"...she's probably correct in assuming I won't be that same "Lori" but I don't have the type of soul that could be tainted by this...and I want to be happy someday...again...and I know that my loss wasn't God punishing me...or us...as a family. My Faith understands that Adam's misjudgement...although a moment of fatal flawed thinking made this tragedy occur...God rescued my son and holds him close in Heaven's Glory...and I cannot help but wonder...every day...as Ted does, too...why our son? And why where there no second chances...and of course, the tears continue to flow...but we're not alone...we're not alone....