breathing....again

Well, it's Monday morning...the day after Mother's Day and I survived...yesterday was a mix of panic and woe...but as the morning went along...the calm returned...
My focus was on remembrance...and on our mom's today...and all through the day...the doorbell would ring and people who truly cared would pass through with hugs and cards...and reassurances...my heart overflows with love for those who love me...I am overwhelmed at the care that people spread forth...people who loved me...people who adored my son and those who simply grew to care about our family...People remarked about the letter I placed in the newspaper...how special it had been...I typed that in moments (because when you feel passionate about something, it becomes an easy task)...all heartfelt because so many people meant oh so much...and I will spend the rest of my life being forever grateful...and when bad things happen to good people...you have a choice...actually two choices...to grow angry and bitter...or to allow love to fulfill...well, in our case, we'd always been loving...and always been kind...but if I am able...to grow more love, care and concern that I ever had...then I shall...Adam was magnificant...and those who didn't know him...as they discover him through the blog or through someone else's tales....wish they could have known him...and with his absense...that is the saddest part...I told my neighbor the feeling of losing him yesterday...the feeling of getting punched in the stomach but the air to breath doesn't come back...the gasping despairation...and learning how to breath all over again...slow and shallow breaths...will I ever breathe easily again? I doubt it...I know it'll be a struggle that follows me through the rest of my days...but I am breathing...and at first it was "barely" breathing...but with love, support and TIME, the breaths are more easily taken...