Ted and I watched the fireworks last evening...like we always have....for many years now, and bravely decided to go once again...following the same pattern of celebration, we'd go to our friend's home and watch the spectacular display of lights that electrify the sky...only last night, both Ted and I stood holding each other sharing the same thought...Adam....can you see what we see from Heaven? Wiping back tears, I held onto that thought and later questioned Ted...why isn't is possible for God to ease our hearts...just a little bit, perhaps come to us in a dream...and let us know "Adam's okay" and that he's at Peace...the relief it would give...some comfort to our broken hearts...I guess other parents have that same question...but imagine that source of soothing it would bring...as a mom, you can't imagine how difficult it is to sit and watch other children without remembering visions and memories of your own children...we all have them, not just moms who lost a son, like me...sometimes as our kids grow up...we wish for days past...when they were small, and everything was new and magical to them...and to us...and the wonders they truly were...I looked at Adam's face...from the time we was handed to me as a young mom, his little body wrapped in a blue blanket, his skin pink and glowing...and I'd watch him grow...never, ever thinking I would lose him...never even imagining he'd pass the way he did...my heart aches for all he'll miss...for all of those who loved him are missing...for us, with our broken hearts...the helpless way we feel...the highs and the lows...the dread of knowing we have so much time left...in our lifetimes without our dear son in it...after the fireworks display, Teddy took me to the cemetery and we stood by Adam's grave, it was well after eleven p.m. but we both felt a Peace around us, watching a faint scattering of random fireworks still going off...again, we miss you...