it's an unusual week for me, because I'm missing Jordan big-time...since Adam's passing, it was he who was the "constant" thing in our home, I feel lost without him although I am truly happy he's spending some time away...with friends...this trip was planned many months ago...way before Adam's passing affected our lives forever...and it was Adam...who was supposed to join them...Adam loved going away...Adam basically loved any new adventure. He made going to random convenience stores along the journey a fun act...my mind is filled with memories of his adventures...the things he'd want to try...the unique sense of humor that made the trip much more enjoyable...together, my two sons completed me...completed us...it'll be five months tomorrow...my strength finally strong enough to explore a few items from his past...I found some beautiful pictures on his computer...and ironically, some had been vacation pics from our family travels...others are of me and Ted and his brother...happy times...just like any other normal family...only ours isn't normal anymore...I hope as Jordan walks on the sandy beaches...Adam walks alongside of him...and if he's staring into the blanket of black velvety sky filled with lustrous stars...I hope it's Adam's spirit within the brightest star...I hope Jordan's friends give him the loving support he needs...and that he continues to heal through his quiet time away...
God was Great to me when he gave me my two sons...my heart is heavy with my loss...but deep inside I know what a amazing boy I had...along with the remarkable son I have still...in my son Jordan....
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