decisions...so many have been made since you left us Adam...my first was to continue living...yes, believe it or not...at times, Hope for me was that I could have joined you...but that wasn't to be...so I decided to go on...deciding to keep Faith, easily could we have chosen a different path but the road to God seemed best taken...I've not looked back since I turned upon this route. Decisions to go back to work and try and rebuild what I had before...to see if I still had...what others valued...knowing I'm not a failure should I falter. Decisions...to write...to share...to continue healing through expression of your memory...no one truly knows or understands loss completely until it hits you on a personal level...it's so deep and dismal...the strength you need to crawl over it is immense...decisions made to not lie down and die...or become depressed...every thought and plan carefully made with your handsome face in each thought...and deciding that you loved me way too much so see me allow myself to deteriorate...more decisions lie ahead...somedays I'm really not sure of what my choice will be...for you see, it can change in an instant...just like my life...but it's getting clearer...those ideas...and plans...
I decided I would never let your Spirit fade...and that keeps me going...your love...your memories...and decisions...