Mondays...the start of another week...little obstacles to overcome...as I continue to take small steps in this process...I watch Jordan and saw in him sadness beyond belief over the past months that consumed us with Adam's passing...and recently some of that sadness has lifted...in him I see tiny glimpses of happiness...with so many loving souls keeping watch ore' our family, and the formation of a new relationship...a school friend of Adam's came to visit us...to sit with us...and console us over the past month or so...and her being here, in our home...with her kindness...well it sort of sparked a relationship between she and Jordan...and her presence makes him smile...to see the corners of his mouth curl once again...to watch his eyes twinkle with a different emotion...it warms my heart...some people truly don't know how special a sibling can be...I'm one who'll admit I wasn't close with mine...I struggle some days with remembering those fond memories that some others had...Mind you, I've had some, but the years that separated me and my siblings probably played the primary role in us not being really close...My brother who passed was probably the sibling whose love I felt the most...he was almost 11 yrs. older than me...and he had his share of troubled years...battling addictions and battling demons that seemed to follow him...but when he was with me, his heart would melt and I could feel the love he held inside his heart for me...I think about him more often these days...with Adam's passing...I think more deeply about everything...and again, hold Hope that he's with Adam and that life eternal is all that we Hope for...and that Adam continues to provide Peace...to his brother Jordan...I know it was Adam who sent this special young lady to comfort Jordan...Jordan knows it, too...again, my heart breaks that the dynamic duo that had been my sons are not together now...it's so life changing...so harsh...difficult to fathom...and each day I face the brutal fact that my life will never be the same....

p.s. on a happier note...I've discovered that to be like one's siblilng, you need not be related at all...for you see, Ted and I have been Blessed with a special few who filled that role completely, I would feel lost without Janie and Harry, or "my Lisa" and my newest special friend Brenda...they have gone beyond any expectations of friendship...and I do know if my sister didn't live hundreds of miles away, she'd be here...with me...trying to pick up the pieces of my broken puzzle with me, too...