...I look back and think of all the days and months I've lost track of...the way my mind went on hiatus...to shield me from the excruciating pain of the horrible thing that happened to me...to us. Slowly...I've awakened from that bad dream...and realized the magnitude of reality...and now face a new world...this new life...the one that was chosen for me...it's not an easy task...trying to go back and be the me that everyone remembers...I asked Ted if we're going be okay...if we can ever be happy again? He looked at me...with expressive big blue eyes, just like his son's eyes...tearfully sincere...he told me we'll never forget any of this...or anything of what we had...but someday we'll find some sort of "happy" again...I love you Ted