hearts....

My mantra continues to be "keep your heart open" and I have honestly been trying to live up to that one...each day I continue to try to focus on the positive ways my son lived and loved his life...I was walking a few weeks ago along the old train tracks in our historic section of town...Ted and Hazel by My side when I happened to look down and see a little paper heart...it was in a tiny plastic case and it was of Victorian design...probably from one of the gift shoppes nearby...a tourist must have dropped it...I picked it up and smiled....thinking perhaps Adam threw me a heart from Heaven...and I kept in in my purse to look at and think of him...he always put hearts around the notes or CD's he'd make for me....think of the simplistic nature of a hand drawn heart...but such magnitude in it's meaning...he always associated me with hearts...and love...and yesterday I was walking Hazel by myself in the serene wooded path behind the old cemetery on the hill...there would be absolutely no reason imaginable to discover shells on that trail...no reason at all yet I happened to look down and what did I see? A beautiful seashell in the shape of a heart...I picked it up and shook of the dirt and began to cry....big alligator tears....my shirt dampened from my cry...and when I got home, I couldn't wait to show Ted the newest item for my collection of hearts...my own heart pains me so...but my willfulness is to find inside of it....Peace and comfort someday....
p.s. if people do believe in angels and there signs...then I believe Adam was sending me these items...because the heart-shaped shell that had no reason to be in the woods...I had many loving memories of he and I collecting shells on the beach from our past....and the I love you note...it's words simply state: Keep this simple paper heart close to you, it will remind you that you are loved all year through...he would have written that to me if he could have...