Lucky? Can I ever feel lucky again? I guess that can be a question placed under the "will I ever belly-laugh again, or ever feel truly happy again" list...along with the many other things I'll surely question in the future...but upon thinking further...I am lucky I have some of the friends that I have....or else I'd probably still be in bed right now...Adam wasn't lucky often, again, it was something he'd joke about...he often would lose in card games...be ahead in online poker only to lose big in the end...stuck with his teams on a friendly bet and then have to pay back...
Luck? Ted and I were never lucky either...we'd had some tough breaks over the years....but those tough breaks never got us down, because no matter how bad the "thing" we were going through was...somehow, we'd think "well, we have each other and we have these two great boys, so we're lucky there"...lucky? We see life in a completely different way...nothing is the same...
and as far as luck goes...I see there is no such thing. Life is a risk...death chooses who it may...and we can pray...go to church...profess our devotions...we can serve...we can feed our bodies, souls and minds...and lead purposeful lives...and still, we are plucked or afflicted with things we simply cannot understand...good people developing sad illnesses...accidents that scoop up a life in a moment...and we can rack our brains around it all trying to figure out the whys and never conclude it...it almost makes someone think...why bother anymore? Jordan and I talked deeply about this one...multiple times...but I have to agree with my knowledgeable boy...when he said "let's not lose the Faith Mom....cause even if we continue to lead good lives until the day we die...and we were wrong about everything...and nothing is what we had believed...or were taught...what bad would come out of living that way?"...I guess I'm lucky I can understand from where he speaks...lucky I'm still holding onto my Faith...holding onto what's left....