"God doesn't want us merely to 'get through' our problems. He wants us to 'grow through' them"....growth...infancy to childhood into young adulthood...and that's how far we had our son...
we watched him grow...did all that we could, or at least did what we thought would be best...I was his age when I had my family completed...imagine, a mom of two by 22...I had so much to learn...so much more "growing up" to do myself at that point, but two little reasons (actually two really big reasons) made me strive to become a good mom...and a good human being. So I learned how to grow through those obstacles that stood in our pathways over the years...a head full of assorted knowledge...many mistakes made...many lessons learned...sometimes I get overwhelmed...the other day I had to drop labwork off at the urgent care center for a patient of mine...the waiting room was lined with sick people...a small tow-headed boy with full rosy cheeks was crying for his mommy and all I could do was swallow hard...that was me...I was "mommy"...like so many of us mothers....thankfully, those like me, who've lost a child are far and few between...but the sad few of us that are here...have to deal with that constant torture...the flashes of memories...the hurt...the longing...the ongoing looks from others that question "where we are" in our progress...no matter how I try and shake the sad memories of that dreadful night...it'll sneak up on me when I least expect it...growth....yes...we're growing...in many ways...things I would have never pondered...are pondered now...accepting the hands of those who want to walk alongside me...I just want this pain to go away...but I see it's going to live there a long time...