I read something that Sheryl Crow stated somewhere...sometime ago... "We talk about defining moments, but I think nothing can define you. They're all refining moments. You're constantly refining yourself and refining your life"...I liked that...it sounds hopeful and inspiring... and that's what my family needs right now, some little bits of Hope and that something will happen...in time, to allay this heaviness that we all feel upon our hearts. I am learning to redefine "me"...and as I watch Jordan and view Ted, I can see their little strides toward progress, as well as my own...it's truly not fair...that we have to work so hard, to overcome this terrible grief that was cast upon us, like a rug swiftly ripped from beneath our feet without warning...but when it comes down to it...what are our alternatives? To live on with bitter hearts...to end life...and ruin others? Or to face each day with a redefining optimism searching for a purpose to live on and strive for...my own disappointments will always trail me...but through the many mistakes I made since birth, I learned much from each of them...the mistakes I made taught me life's lessons and helped mold me into the person I am today...the person who others feel easily close to...I'm learning each day...and I'm holding tightly to that optimism that is out there somewhere...I'm refining and redefining all of the time...I'm doing this for my sons...the one I can hold in my arms and the other who lives in my heart...