Dear Adam,

I've skipped some days nows, journaling my thoughts occurs less often. It's not that I don't think about you a million times a day....because I do...or that I lack the words....the feelings or the memories to write...because I truly possess that capability...it's just I'm trying to feel better.

Your dad and I are trying to keep our heads up and stay focused on this new life we have to keep on living. We don't care at all what anyone elses views or expectations are...because we're healing the way that feels best for us...and we're healing for you, Adam...because we need to...

We cried a lot this afternoon, reading through the cards that people lovingly penned to us...almost 7 months ago....our mailbox overfilled with letter and cards...we...in a fog then, remembered little of what was jotted on each note...overwhelmed with tears...we read them again until our crying blurred our eyes so much we couldn't read any further...and on and on again...was that same, simple statement..."he always made me smile"....repeatedly written in various versions...from all different people...remembering your smile...and how happy you'd always been...and as Dad and I held hands on our daily stroll down St. Kevin Lane...to say our prayers to you...we smiled as we thought how wonderful your smile had truly been...and how lucky we, as parents had been to have had such a happy son...and that you'll always be remembered for something so significant...I wonder what we'd be remembered for....many people live long lives...meaningless and empty...years filled with mediocrity and sheer existence...unhappy souls living day to day...

your life wasn't like that...and ours won't be that way either...