Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted... but in getting what you already have, which once you've gotten it, you may be smart enough to see it is what you would have wanted all along...I had you...I knew I had the family and life that I was extremely fortunate to have...and I still wonder each day how it's possible to have someone so dear...so loved and treasured taken away in one abrupt moment?
And I see that what happened to me...to us...happens sometimes to others like us, loving parents...something like this makes life look completely differently...it's difficult to watch others stress over small things...grumble over things that are trite...and sit quietly, knowing I never did that...knowing I was pretty lucky and that the problems we ever had were small and fixable...then this happened. This isn't fixable...there's no bandaid to pull together the ripped portion across my heart...there's no pill to take away the sadness that Adam's loss has created...
there's no gift...words or monetary amount that could ease this ache or lessen the heartache...time eases the intensity of the pain...time teaches us control...I can now orchestrate my emotions better...time is also a curse, too...placing distance and space in when I was him last...our last words...the last sounds of his voice...time...is not the enemy I see...time...