the summer of "Will"

a gentle breeze blows through my bedroom window, the curtains seem to dance aimlessly with it's action...the noise of children playing outside awakens me...I stir...and I reflect on many warm summer's days past...much like this when Adam and Jordan would be off for the summer...their little heads full of ideas on what they would do each day. One summer, our neighbor boy fell off his bike and fractured his arm...how disappointing...he couldn't swim...or ride his bike...or participate in many activities that all the others could and he'd have been abandoned had it not been for his buddy Adam...this was a summer Adam decided to devote himself to Will...this was also the summer that an unbreakable bond of friendship was formed...a strength of friendship that would carry into adulthood. Adam played video games and watched movies with Will all summer long...fast forward a decade and Adam was with Will a week before he passed...I remember him telling me that Will was home from Philly and they watched their favorite movies in our den...and that he made Will fabulous leftovers they found in our fridge...and how it seemed like old times...and when Adam passed...the first thing he mentioned to me was about that evening in February spent with my son...and how it seemed to be the best time they ever spent together...there was no indication that that would be their last time together as friends...who would ever think that? Ted and I look back and try and see if our paths in parenting had been wrong...yet we see nothing...we see us as parents who loved our kids with every ounce of our being...we opened our hearts and our home to have the kids here under our watchful eyes...be enjoyed being parents who went to every game, party, activity...never feeling we "had to do any of it"...knowing we wanted to do it all...we still visit Adam's grave daily...it's become a ritual...I told Teddy, why wouldn't we keep coming by to let him know he's in every thought?
I miss my son so much...I set aside time each day to cry by myself....the tears flow steadily still...and my heart aches...no one should ever have to feel like this...experience this pain...endure such loss....saddening how this affected so many others who loved Adam...visit his grave and you'll see tokens left almost daily...visit his Facebook and you'll read tearful recollections of the people whose lives he touched...talk with me and you'll recognize love that is unstoppable...
Summertime...Adam's favorite time...