windows....

...sometimes strangers find me... read me...and then write to tell me that my writings inspire them...some have told me it makes them appreciate their lives in a deeper way...others are struck by the ways I am learning to "cope' with tremendous loss...one person wrote to me yesterday and her words touched me in a completely different way, for you see, she told me she has her friend reading my blog, too...to have her look through the window of my world...the world of an innocent family struck by tragedy...and the aftermath of a son's bad decision to use drugs...and the sometimes fatal consequences it can induce into a family...even a good family...her methodology...scare her by seeing what she could do to her own loved ones...and it worked. I think that Adam's death has affected SO many people...obviously our lives here will never be the same...Ted said no one can even imagine what a family like ours goes through to struggle through each day and the fascade we must put on...as we muddle through...but Adam's death had surged a reality check upon many, many young adults...an awakening of what is really a hidden secret...that a mom like me can been easily thrown off track...I told Boo last night that Adam told me he'd smoke pot now and then...that little bit of what he told me was "just enough" to ease my mind of ever thinking he'd do anything else...anything "much worse" wasn't even fathomable in my mind...I hope another person never succumbs to the affects of the deadly drug that took my own son's life...I pray that Adam will always be remembered for all the GREAT qualities he possessed and that perhaps even now...he is somehow helping others learn...and saving the lives of others who have watched our family through the window I've kept open...