The happiest people don't have the best of everything, they just make the best of everything they have ♥.....that saying says "me" all over it.....I still want to be happy....it's what Adam would want most...I live with constant thoughts each day of what Adam would be telling me right now if he could...that he's awfully sorry for the mistake he made...how much he wishes he could still be here with us...how much he valued us...as his family...that he longs to see me smile more and be "that person" he admired once again...I do believe his Spirit follows each of us each day...as I drive along I see his face in all the beautiful things that cross my path...the sunny day today led me through winding roads and beautiful landscapes...I passed a waterfall and then a field of wild heather...in my mind I envision what he'd be telling me next...the laughter that would follow...his life was overflowing with delight...our lives were happy...we did make the best of what God gave us...we felt like we had everything....and when we lost our son, it felt like we had nothing anymore...I'm glad I have Faith...that those little signs are apparent...that people love us...that we feel support...I try not to question "why me"...because I see it could hit anyone...in a heartbeat...I mentioned that to a friend tonight...as we sipped coffee and ate our desserts...I said as I am eating this carrot cake...another mother is learning that her child has died...it's grim and brutal reality....the gift I have now is that gift of knowing exactly what someone like that is feeling...I have a gift of helping someone going through a rough time....just like me. There are others with the gift...but they chose not to use it...it's a gift that we did not ask for...it's one we resent...but I guess when faced with choosing to use it or put it away, I'd rather use it...to help others along my path of life...and it'll be the gift of Adam's light and life that will help me help others along the way...