Dear Adam...
This blog has been helpful in many ways...my heart's open to help in anyway I can thru what I learned so far....and those who read me often reach out to help me through this difficult time...an old friend told me my experience awakened her like no other situation could...and how she wished she could go back and rewind the series of events that affected our lives...we look to God for explanations and still question why? And with time...we see there will never be the "answers" for which we seek...we simply wish you were still here with us... I met with HR on Tues., they're getting ideas together for open positions...I wait patiently and as I do, I'm seeing patients who are stable...so I am okay in that. I like working, always have. If I had to sit and stare at walls all day, it would be maddening. I'd like to work part-time for awhile...I think that would be nice. I would have extra "me" time to think...reflect, write...walk...pray....and if I was having a bad day one day, perhaps I'd be off the next. I'm not worried...things will be how they will be...I just want to be surrounded by kind people right now....because that's what helps me most...and Jordan's been my rock lately...it's unbelievable how he's changed. He's like a butterfly now...out of a cocoon that he had once encased himself inside...he's in love...and he's projecting that love in the most positive way to us...his arms wrap around me regularly these days and it feels so nice to feel that sincerity and love within those arms....and to those who tell me often...how wonderful YOU were...well, those are the words that mean the most...I love you Adam...I adored you from the moment I met you...when I held you and looked into your beautiful face...created by us...your parents who would have lived or died for you...I wish often that God would have chosen me...and I question why too often...we all took dangerous chances...risky moments...unthinkable reactions...but you received the most harsh penalty...or perhaps I am wrong...I may be the one feeling most penalised because you're no longer here with us...but maybe God and His Angels are feeling luckier because they have you now...