...it happened, the day was Tuesday, August 17th at around 12:30 p.m. I was at my currently "favorite" patient's home...he and his wife seem to have grown fond of me and my visits....I like going there...partially because they don't know me and I can pretend I'm just some regular nurse and leave my sadness at their doorstep and lose myself in his needs...and it's helping immensely...his wife made me a jar of soup. My heart melted with that simple gesture....she told me since I always bake and cook for them, she wanted to show me how much she appreciates me and my kindness...she looked at me with grandmotherly eyes and said "you don't have any kids, do you Lori?"...I guess she figured out she asked a delicate question when she finished that sentence...I didn't mean to allow my eyes to leak, truly...my lashes batted quickly to hold back the flow...and somehow I managed to answer her...I started with "I have a son...actually I had two sons, I lost my youngest about 6 months ago"...I know she must have apologized ten times for asking before I left and held me in her arms for awhile...grandma's arms...that's what it felt like, warm and soft and cozy...and she smelled like cinnamon and soup...nice, pleasant smell...everything about her made me feel comfortable. I left there and thought to myself, if I was going experience that question for the first time, the most awkward of moments...how glad I was that it was with her. I went back today for it was my time to check on her hubby. She followed me out the door on my departure...again those arms wrapped around me for a hug that seemed endless...as she whispered in my ear, "We love you, Lori"..."we know your son would have had to be wonderful like you"...I'll never forget this woman...her love...and the way she made me feel...
I save quotes and stenciled inspirational quotes on our walls at our Hospice office...I love the one that goes..."They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel." No, I'll never forget her...or many other amazing people who have touched my life...and who made me "feel"...once again...