Adam...

Adam...
My Beloved Son

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Dear Mom...
I needed to somehow let you know the depths of sorrow I feel watching over you and seeing the sadness that still looms over you...your heart heavy with the pain my passing has inflicted upon you...I need you to know that I am always there...riding alongside you...I watch you...I smile when you smile...I am in the laughter that you hear in the distance...the music you and dad listen to...I am the peacefulness you feel when you allow yourself to drift off to sleep at night...I'm there...I know you see me, I visit you almost every night in your slumber. No goodbyes or explanations to you by me left you wondering...painstakingly trying to see the whys and cast blame on yourself...but you're not to blame...never. You were a good mom---the best, you knew how I felt about you, I made a huge mistake and I lost my life to it...but your life doesn't end...it's not meant to so you need to gather what's left and mend...you and dad and Jordan, I loved my family and all those around me knew this...we had such love inside our hearts and home...things will eventually get easier...I just need you to know that I am safe...and that I am happy...and our love, the one that me and you had a mom and son...will never fade, I love you...Adam xoxo

*I had such vivid dreams of Adam lately and could almost touch and smell him...when I awoke I could smell his cologne "Joop"...in this dream he asked me to write a letter to myself from him...so that's exactly what I did...I need to continue to heal...

No comments:

Post a Comment