yesterday I posted a beautiful quote...I do that a lot...I guess...like I have mentioned before, positive thinking = positive state of mind? Perhaps? Sometimes I am not sure...I am certainly not truly happy anymore...I guess me, and people like me...just learn how to live "best" with coping with constant sadness..."Courage does not always roar. Sometimes, it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow"...quotes like this have become my mantra...because I do go to bed each night with a constant "hopefulness" that maybe....just maybe ---the next day will be better...I guess with time, I have adapted. I fit normally into any social setting...but the person I was...simply isn't "her" anymore. Life is cruel sometimes...and leaves someone like me wondering...that big question? WHY? I miss Adam...and not only have I lost him, I have lost the person that Jordan was...what is left of him is filled with sadness...the longing and empty feelings that occupy my head and mind...live inside him now too...each one of us goes through the motions...today was Jordan's birthday and Adam should have been here...to eat with us---or share a toast...to laugh...eat...converse...but a mistake he made took him away from us forever...days like today are hard...so I'll pray harder and more frequently that somehow my Faith will stay steadfast...