please forgive me if I say too little...or perhaps too much,
forgive the distance that sometimes places awkwardness between us...
please know that my mind is consumed with other thoughts...distant memories of a young man I shall see no more...
understand if I walk in silence...as tears fill my eyes...
as I fade out the noise of others with trivial matters...for my head is swimming with sadness...
Walk aside me...hold my hand...soothe my heart...this isn't easy...
each day is a new struggle...I wish to feel happiness again...and I do remember what that feels like...
and I know the son I lost would want to hear my laughter bellow once again...
sadness looms, I feel empty many days...wake to a new day with a hint of optimism that sometimes dissipates...
but I get up...and move along...with hopes that the strength of me...along with others...will carry me through...