Good Times Bring Bad Times


Good times bring bad times
And bad times bring sad hearts.

Sad hearts bring sad eyes
And sad eyes bring strong shoulders.

Strong shoulders bring warm hearts
And warm hearts bring old friends.

Old friends bring old memories
And old memories bring new smiles.

New smiles bring glad hearts

please forgive me if I say too little...or perhaps too much,
forgive the distance that sometimes places awkwardness between us...
please know that my mind is consumed with other thoughts...distant memories of a young man I shall see no more...
understand if I walk in silence...as tears fill my eyes...
as I fade out the noise of others with trivial matters...for my head is swimming with sadness...
Walk aside me...hold my hand...soothe my heart...this isn't easy...
each day is a new struggle...I wish to feel happiness again...and I do remember what that feels like...
and I know the son I lost would want to hear my laughter bellow once again...
sadness looms, I feel empty many days...wake to a new day with a hint of optimism that sometimes dissipates...
but I get up...and move along...with hopes that the strength of me...along with others...will carry me through...

yesterday I posted a beautiful quote...I do that a lot...I guess...like I have mentioned before, positive thinking = positive state of mind? Perhaps? Sometimes I am not sure...I am certainly not truly happy anymore...I guess me, and people like me...just learn how to live "best" with coping with constant sadness..."Courage does not always roar. Sometimes, it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow"...quotes like this have become my mantra...because I do go to bed each night with a constant "hopefulness" that maybe....just maybe ---the next day will be better...I guess with time, I have adapted. I fit normally into any social setting...but the person I was...simply isn't "her" anymore. Life is cruel sometimes...and leaves someone like me wondering...that big question? WHY? I miss Adam...and not only have I lost him, I have lost the person that Jordan was...what is left of him is filled with sadness...the longing and empty feelings that occupy my head and mind...live inside him now too...each one of us goes through the motions...today was Jordan's birthday and Adam should have been here...to eat with us---or share a toast...to laugh...eat...converse...but a mistake he made took him away from us forever...days like today are hard...so I'll pray harder and more frequently that somehow my Faith will stay steadfast...

"Courage does not always roar. Sometimes, it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow"....

The greatest danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that it is too low and we reach it....

The greatest danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that it is too low and we reach it....

"Before you can inspire with emotion, you must be swamped with it yourself. Before you can move their tears, your own must flow. To convince them, you must yourself believe."

"For everything you have missed...you have gained something else...and for everything you gain....you lose something else...it is about your outlook towards life...you can either regret or rejoice...."
me...it's one of the only things I have left...my hopefulness...I posted this on my facebook page and another mom remarked about it, how her daughter's death has caused her nothing but heartaches and tainted outlooks...and my heart felt her heart sink...for I could easily see that the loss of her daughter has taken away a great deal of her hopefulness...my life now?...I oftentimes feel slighted...bordering on bitterness, but something literally stops me from going anywhere further...I just don't want to do that...to me, to others, isolating myself from love that may be offered...friendships that might await me...of course I wished many times...that my life would just stop. Why shouldn't it? After all, anything really good is over now, right? But I do possess Faith...and with it comes Hope...and my Hopefulness is that one day I will learn the whys of all that I was faced to see and brave through...but mainly to be with my son again one day for eternity, for I know that's where he waits for me...