"People can be more forgiving than you can imagine. But you have to forgive yourself. Let go of what's bitter and move on"...

"People with humility don’t think less of themselves. They just think about themselves less"............

Don't think of him as gone away

His journey's just begun

He holds so many faces

This earth is only one

just think of him as resting

From the sorrows and the tears

In a place of warmth and comfort

Where there are no days and years

Think of how he must be wishing

That we could know today

How nothing but our sadness

Can really pass away

And think of him as living

In the hearts of those he touched

For nothing loved is ever lost

And he was loved soooo much

...RIP Adam...

Life is a test, Life is a trust, Life is a temporary assignment....rest in Peace my beautiful son...the memories we shared are forever in my mind...and always in my heart...

What we have once enjoyed we can never lose;
All that we love deeply, becomes a part of us.

a gift...it's something I can't physically give my son Adam anymore...and it breaks my heart...and I thought long and deeply as I walked tonight and gazed into the blackened sky...the full moon a vibrant contrast against the blanket of black...intermingled with stars...and it struck me...my gift to him has been there all along...my gift to Adam are the memories I keep flowing...the blog I keep writing...preserving his life's story and sharing the tales of lives he had touched...my gift was keeping my home open to allow others who grieved to cling to us here and share sorrow and tears...my present to him was an open heart...a willingness to live in his spirit...to let others know how he lived...and not dwell on how he passed...and I plan my lifetime...no matter how long it may be...to honor is beautiful spirit...always

a friend is someone who reaches for your hand...but touches your heart....a friend is...as if she were a second self...and great friends can speak without words...this past year...had it not been for the support of friends...I wouldn't be standing...for they held me up when the world started to fall down upon me....life came crashing down and obstacles that seemed insurmountable blocked my way...I am grateful for others...is there anything better than the love of others? I doubt that...and feel sorrow for those who haven't experienced love from someone great...
this past year...I've embraced more people in 363 days than most people hold in a lifetime...and in my head and my heart are held thankful memories of each and every moment that love passed through my home....God Bless you all...who thought of me...I am a stronger person because of you....

"What God leads me to, God leads me through"....

...last night was moving...in many ways...moving in the fact that Adam had so many friends who showed up and cared...and proved their support....or perhaps to convey their unwavering love and spirit...one by one, I received embraces throughout the night and heard whispered words again of how much they loved my son...one young man told me how each time he and others get together, they all lift their drinks and say cheers to Adam...and as he told this, I pondered on, silently...and he continued with the reasoning...and it all made so much sense...
he told me he had such difficulty coping when his grandpa passed...his dad and brother....well they were utterly saddened...apparently, grandpa was like no other...and he shared a fondness for beer...to "cheer" themselves and feel better about their situation...they put cans of beer in grandpa's casket...and during the Mass...which was a profound and moving ceremony...the three of them stood there in church and heard what sounded like a beer tab opening...and the moral of his story? Cheer...or shall I say cheers...they think it was grandpa's wonderful sense of humor coming though to let them know to cheer him now...and that things are okay...and as this young person and others lift their glasses...each time done...it's a reminder of a friend they loved. I found his strange encounter story quite moving...and with me...little pieces of peace are a well-needed thing. I was walking with Ted by the lake today...the weather was more fair...our walk was extended...a text message rang and it was Erica telling me she dreamt of Adam last night...and he gave her a message telling her to tell us he's okay...thing was in her dream...they were at the lake...by the boat launch...right where I was when she decided to text me...signs...Jordan tells me not to look for them...because God wants us to hold firm to faith...not look into everything for answers, but show trust and hold secure to an ever present Faithfulness...and I do...but I still believe in strange encounters....

....it's been a rough year...a horrible year...the kind of year that tests each bit and piece of oneself...and I realize something new each day...and in the past 353 days...that never, ever have I ever suspected that I possessed so much inside myself...this year pushed me beyond any physical, emotional or spiritual limits...punched me...knocked me down...placed me in terrible positions...put me in center spotlights...scrutinized by others...discovering at times, with shock that some people wanted to see me down...some people wanted to take away my pain...while others allowed me to swim in it...but I did learn to swim...the worst things said started with "you'll never be the same"...and this was mostly uttered by "really smart people"...go figure...but those who loved me...truly loved me stayed true...and those kids who loved Adam continue to love me too...I felt the hand on my back tonight...while drying the last dish and gazing out into the darkness of the night. Why tonight? Maybe it's because I prayed extra hard for a new beginning...not to forget...because there will never be a moment that I would ever be able to...nor willing to wish to have him forgotten....just a wish to be able to get through a day...and make it a good one...
someone told Teddy recently that we deserve to feel happy again...and I know that he was right...we do deserve that...and Adam of all people would want that for us...he was so wishful for everyone to feel happy...and the warmth and pressure on my back was him telling me it's going to be okay...I miss him so much...my heart hurts...it aches for him...but I'm going to prove the doubters wrong and emerge a stronger person...and hopefully find laughter somewhere in the distance....

Hope is much more than a mood. It involves a commitment to action.... What we hope for should be what we are prepared to work for...as far as that power lies in us.

Life Is a
Gift

Today
before you say an unkind word - Think of someone who can't
speak.


Before
you complain about the taste of your food - Think of someone
who has nothing to eat.


Before
you complain about your husband or wife - Think of someone
who's crying out to GOD for a companion.


Today
before you complain about life - Think of someone who went
too early to heaven.


Before
whining about the distance you drive Think of someone who
walks the same distance with their feet.


And when
you are tired and complain about your job - Think of the
unemployed, the disabled, and those who wish they had your
job.


And when
depressing thoughts seem to get you down - Put a smile on
your face and think: you're alive and still
around.

...May the winds of love blow softly and whisper for you to hear that I
still love you and miss you and wish that you were here. We'll meet
again. Someday. Somewhere....