changes...Ted and I knew we had to do something more...so about three years ago a conversation with new friends turned into a community effort which in essence has been warming our hearts, I guess it's helped us continue to feel purpose at a time when we questioned whether we still had one....or at least I know I felt that way.  I'm 52 now...I watch others with many different blessings that come at this time and age....and I pray often to see what God has ahead.  I wish I wish I truly wish I knew what He had ahead for me....yet I do understand I must wait....and life He gave...this very sad and challenging one without Adam inside it is mine...and I must continue on inside of it with purpose.  My friends on the hill encourage us....believe in us...see a light within that...singing carols, baking cookies, laughing...sharing ideas to do good things, we all have our stories....we all have a reason WHY we gravitated together, I truly believe that.  Last night I answered the door, Hazel barking like usual....I see a lovely lady standing there with a Christmas tote filled with homemade cookies....She hands them to me to use for our caroling project Sunday....you see we sing Christmas songs and end each visit with a little bag of tasty cookies to the shut in we entertain....only this lady had a different story, she wasn't donating for any old reason...she was paying it forward, we tears she told me our group sang to her VERY ill husband last winter and he enjoyed it so much, it made a difference in his day, choking back tears I asked about him now????  He passed she said I enveloped her into my arms, together we cried about loss...I have learned that only those who endured GREAT loss understand the hearts fully of those who encountered GREAT LOSS....my heart was full and although I cried awhile after she left....I know that I am being drawn into the right places...and God surrounds us with the people we are supposed to be with....