My Beloved Son

Sunday, July 22, 2012

Dear Adam,
I sit and pray daily---so much I ask God---I listen...for I have learned how to listen in different ways---sometimes there isn't an answer in words but oftentimes it's a message through something else----or something like a lesson learned through another's actions...I look at your pictures, I close my eyes and envision you----I try to imagine you being here---in a physical sense, answering me inside my head...when I'm lucky---you visit me in my dreams...I am thankful that I no longer have nightmares...I do believe you watch over me...and although no one else would or could be capable of understanding that...I know it to be true...being strong is the most difficult thing I have been faced to do...I don't think I could do this without your dad...he loves me through each day onto the next...some are in awe that we love each other so very much---but I somehow see your smiling face in my mind---knowing that you knew all along that the two of us had something unique...I love you Adam---you fill my every now is loved me, you loved who I was...I'd like to say I haven't changed but I have...sometimes I actually like myself better...I think when you have lost everything...there is nothing more to prove...I let go of a lot of baggage...and the drama that is around me---I merely push aside....please keep watching over us...please keep your little family strong...please keep helping Jordan, he was your biggest fan...always and forever, my sweet and loving son XOXOXOXO

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