"And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.” –---I Hope and wish constantly---that "me" being here...is serving the best purpose...redefining myself since I lost Adam makes me seek purpose in everything, I laughed last night when one of Jordan's friends smiled and said "my God Lori, is there anything you can't do?"...he was teasing me about the homemade wreaths and boughs of pine I entwined...then embellished...yes, I've kept myself busy....perhaps, in my own way---this busy hobby of learning new things has helped me in more ways than I could put into words...our longs walks...Ted and I reflect, we talk---we share----as only two loving parents who have endured loss can---yet somehow on those walks we are still able to see beauty, and as we walk---we collect, I guess we're sort of like small children in our escapades---collecting pine cones and twigs, the stuff we decorate those wreaths with...then we give back---we often talk about how lucky we are to have the people we have in our lives...some, came literally out of nowhere...we think of life now---what's left, and what is ahead of us---after a glass of wine and sore fingers from my wreath making, I visited a friend...a gentle knock on the door...to make her day with my little creation...I boldly said "I'm tired of being sad all the time"..."so I'm not going to anymore, and those who want to be sad around me....well, I'll distance myself"...of course I'm sad, I still cry every single day for Adam...oftentimes I'll keep my sobs silent, I'll wait till Jordan's off to work, or I'll sit on the floor of Adam's room....remembering, but then something clicks, and I am reminded of ALL Adam lived for, like Abraham Lincoln's magnificent phrase....it's not about the years...it's about the life lived...and the rest of my life...I want to rebuild with the most purpose I can....it's hard work, but I think I can do this....