...sitting next to an old friend yesterday, I shared a secret...something that I had recently learned...something little but extremely enlightening...I learned about disappointments...a "monumental and moving thing" through my time of grief...I guess sometimes we all wish people could be and feel and emotionalize exactly how we, ourselves do...but you see, it's an impossible task...it all comes down to that old rating system...we rate everything these days...we rate our moods...our happiness factor...the level of pain we feel or how high our anxiety has risen...but sometimes we need to rate what other people's capabilities are...in truth...can some people really be a "10"? And if so...what does being a "10" entail? And looking into mirrors, how close to a "10" have we been...and after pondering all of this...things suddenly became easier for me to understand...and accept. I see that some folks are only capable of being "halfway" there...some people are stronger...go that extra mile...while other friends are at a loss...and perhaps have always struggled with what to do or say, not only in my situation...but in life in general...at times I found it difficult to digest, that people I would have expected to be "there" weren't....or shall I say "weren't as much of an integral part" as I would have presumed...and others who I am astonished by...came forth and surged love and support our way...sometimes even families unravel...and by me letting go of "those disappointments"...I let go of a lot of the pain...what have I learned? To be grateful for those who loved me...and believed in me...and be thankful that God placed special people there for me when those I expected to be there...simply couldn't...