Dear Adam...

Fall....your favorite time of the year....times of fun, fantasy football...cheering for Notre Dame and the 49er's...the briskness of the air you loved...driving around enjoying the chill of the evening air...months continue to pass us by and I do believe with each page turned on our calendar, we somehow miss you even more...life is different now...none of us feels complete...

but we somehow get through our days. I am grateful for so much. As much as I want to feel bitter or horrible, I know in my heart that none of this was meant to be...and that punishing myself or anyone else is not the key. I also know and remember well how good life felt at one point...8 months ago when you where still here with us. And I ponder....and linger....on those very thoughts...of happiness and contentedness...on our values...the love we all shared...our zest for life....perhaps because I knew those things well...I'll be able to find some of that once again.

And those thoughts...or at least thoughts like those keep me afloat. Each day the single most factor that has helped me go on is envisioning Pop beside you. It's the sheer and single piece of Hope that carries from me from one day to the next...and it's a Peaceful thought and sight inside my mind....of Pop holding his hand out to yours as you grasped on tightly to keep him company in Heaven...