someone's laying in their bed right now---crying because of pain inside their heart...we all can easily pass by others....thinking everything is alright, consumed with our own day to day issues of life while someone else is scared, or lonely...heartbroken, devasted, depressed...sometimes all it would take is an outreached hand---a phonecall...and inquiry...I lived it...and I have learned so much...something clicked with me...I was able to see the goodness that others, even strangers...have put forth to me....through time passed, I can look back and see it, I want to pay it all forward...I want to give it all back...with love...for I shall never forget the kindess of those who opened their hearts to me...

....as Jordan pulled me on the dance floor, all I could do was feel love permeate....from all of those around us...to us as we held each other close...I didn't want to let go---but during that sweet dance between mother and son, I got to tell him how much he meant to me....and I think now...at that time, I needed him to know

"I think we dream so we don’t have to be apart for so long. If we’re in each other’s dreams, we can be together all the time.” ♥ It's been incredibly difficult to write here lately---time has made me different...perhaps more subdued in some ways but I do reaize and see that grief did not change me---it revealed me...and revealed the me I knew I was all along...I am the same me...I have a heart that's unchanged...I just feel lost somedays---not that any other person would know it...but I carry that loss with me...riding on my shoulders is an invisable heavy cross...and I still have days---many days when I need to catch my breath---realizing I will never see my son again...or hear his voice...or feel the warmth of his hugs as he used to embrace me...time doesn't heal all wounds...I wish I could help others by telling them it gets better...or easier...but it truly doesn't...some days are easier than others...and the ones with laughter and smiles truly make my heart smile back...I dream of Adam almost nightly...I know I am a rarity on that...many parents aren't able to receive that connection and I somehow am...beautiful and peaceful dreams...I know with my whole heart that ADAM loves me...and I know it's his way of helping me through each day ahead...