Adam, I miss you beyond belief---some nights I wonder how I am going to live the rest of this life without you, it almost seems cruel and unthinkable...each day I continue to pray for renewed strength and each day---somehow, I find some....somehow....somewhere....I love you, always and forever, your mom xoxoxoxo

I became a rare statistic at 44...I wonder how this happens...life, that was the day my life basically ended, February 20th 2010...I do think for a mom, there is nothing more devasting than what I endured...me, and the few people we might have heard of or have known...who endured similar loss...and as time whirls on---one (like me) looks to the new world with wishfulness---not that our lives will ever be or regain what it once was---but our wishfulness to see hope and beauty once again...it's difficult...those rough days still find me---even as I run and hide and try to escape them---they somehow have become---inescapable...time passes---I remember days first---rolled into months---now years----I read so much that the first year is the toughest...I wonder who wrote that...and I wonder if their heart is as broken as mine...Ted and I...we fight the good fight with the sadness that looms above our heads...that gut-wrenching pain that seizes you from out of nowhere...when you can't breathe----upon daily realization we won't see him ever again...I miss his voice probably the most...the comforting sounds of him singing in the shower...or our late night talks...there was nothing more I loved that being a mom---and although I still am---we are all different...life is different...

living life.....

Life is not a race~~~but indeed a journey. Be honest. Work hard. Be choosy. Say "thank you" and "great job" to someone each day...Go to church, take time for prayer, The Lord giveth and The Lord taketh...Let your handshake mean more than pen and paper, as best you can....dreaming does matter...It allows you to become that which you aspire to be. Laugh often...appreciate the little things in life and enjoy them...some of the best things really are free...Do not worry, less wrinkles are more becoming...forgive....it frees the soul. Take time for yourself---plan longevity. Recognize the SPECIAL people you've been BLESSED to know...
live for today~~~enjoy the moment