I decided to do a little light reading before I went to bed last night...so for some reason, I choose to read Adam's favorite story, silly as that sounds, it gave me such warmth and comfort...my niece sent me a copy and as I sat reading the tale my son loved so much...I saw so much symbolism in it's simplistic story...the fact that Sylvester's parents loved him so much...but also how they loved each other....just like me and Teddy...and how they tried to recollect themselves after they "lost" their son....just like us...although no happy ending awaits our tale...another symbol I found was that as Sylvester was "that rock"...Adam is in pieces of everything around us still...as hard as it is...we, like his family must move on....and before I read this story, Ted and I sat talking about life now...and how people see us...he remarked that unless they see him at work or in church, he's out of sight...just like me. Perhaps people need to see us more to reassure them we're proceeding with life...because we need to...he always seems to analyze but he's always right....I was at the dental office the other day and as kind and lovely as they all are...I could sense some mild awkwardness...but the end of my visit, I was in the arms of my hygienist...she thanked me for making a potentially awkward visit not awkward at all...and for those daring enough to experience me...they see I'm still the same...just a sadder version...I want people to see our strength...it took me a very long time to get to this point...the point of wanting to move forward....sadly, I used to awake and wish I could just join my son...but with the passing of time, I see I'm meant to be here...that I still have purpose and that so many people love me still...