my best friend thinks there is a book somewhere inside my head that needs to be released....I said I haven't been writing much these days...I do ponder thoughts and inspirations daily in my mind...I try so hard to maintain a positive Spirit....my son's Spirit.  I promised myself and him (silently) that I would always hold his light ahead of me...that I would hold confident in my Faith and stay focused on the good that remains....when I came into this site today I gasped as I realized how long it's been since I've penned my thoughts....but then again, in those many months....what have I done?  I started a jar...a simple mason jar....it's on my kitchen counter filled with little slips of paper on which are jotted down all the little achievements I have been up to...so some, this may be silly or insignificant, but to me, they're monumental...my journey has always been one day at a time....last week I was a volunteer children's reader to the library....sending homemade apple butter to people who needed cheering, promises for more random acts of kindness....each time I do it, it's placed into the jar, each time I add to that jar my heart swells and I want to do more...I have come to learn that no other person will ever understand my heart, the inside of my thoughts or the sadness I live with day to day
but I have Faith that besides God, Ted truly knows and feels the same way as I do....it's his love that keeps me strong, he is the person at the end of a race cheering you in, he's the one sitting in the bleachers of life calling out "you can do this", he, with his silent Grace and deep blue eyes can communicate how proud he is of me by a simple smile...I know this...and with him I can be the best version of myself....